Jack

Hi, I'm Jack.

I'm 26 and a starving artist.

One day I was hit by life.

No seriously. I was crossing the street in colorful Flower District of Downtown Los Angeles when a woman named Life drove her burgundy Honda Civic into me as I tried to shoo away a bee.

After Life hit me, was rushed to the hospital in a bright red ambulance with a shiny white interior and a man dressed in dark muted blue told me that I was going to be alright. The man seemed very tired; he had dark purple rings under his eyes. I wondered what was keeping the man from resting. As he shut the door I caught a glimpse of Life's green skirt and the bee buzzing around it.

I dumped on a gurney and rolled into the hospital. Light blue walls and dusty lighting fixtures flew by me. I was pushed into a small room with green tiles on the walls. There were white blinds on the windows. Nurses and doctors rushed in saying numbers and reporting wounds. It was rather noisy. A fly flew into the room.

Nurses in pink uniforms rush all over the place; every thing was blurry so they seemed like one giant pink blob. I heard a doctor say something about broken legs. An other doctor in a white coat came over and was asking me questions while waving a bright light over my eyes. I made an attempt to answer what seemed like pointless questions, that is until I saw blood splatter on to the white coat of the doctor overhead.

I followed the blood as it spread into the fabric of the coat. I noticed that the room didn't seem as noisy as before. In fact everything seemed to get dull. What had been bright red blood on the coat, now seemed gray.

As the dark closed in, I noticed the fly leave the room.

I came to some time later. I was covered in bandages and had a cast on my right leg. Nurses walked in and took notes on a binder and really didn't pay much attention to me. It's not like I felt talkative anyway.

At some point Life more-or-less paid me a visit. All she really did was stand in the door way and not say a word. The first day she came over she wore a dark purple sweater and pulled it close to her body the entire time. The second day she had a blue skirt with a white trim; she was as silent as ever.The third day she didn't bother standing at the door. She instead sat on a red chair in the hall, across from my door. On the forth day I pretended I was having a staring contest with her as she sat silently. I was winning until a fly landed on her red-orange hair and I blinked.

Life stopped showing up at her spot a few days later. I asked the nurse's if they had seen her. One of them told me she would sit in the waiting room for an hour and leave. Another told me she had spotted her on a brown bench outside the hospital. One of the interns told me he had seen her in the cafe across the street.

I did eventually find out what she might have wanted to say.

She didn't mean to drive her car at 35 miles per hour into my body and she's very sorry to have caused me trouble, or so I was told by her lawyer a couple of days after she was last spotted. He wore a gray suit with an off-white shirt and a charcoal tie with a a geometric design and black shoes and an absolutely depressing demeanor on his face. I think he was trying to match his graying hair and black, soulless eyes. A fly flew near his head.

He didn't say much after the break down of the events, not that I listened. I couldn't help but find the light peach wall behind him so much more interesting. I could have sworn the wall was more interested than I was.

Somewhere between the time he began speaking and stopped a large, black spider made it's was across the wall. It's mere presence seemed to mar the pretty wall.

I made an effort to turn my attention to the bland man in front of me. It was a futile attempt. Luckily he had stopped talking and pulled out a large envelope the color of muddy yellow.

He handed it to me. I made the motion to reach for it.

I never actually reached the envelope, much less get a chance to see what was inside.

I felt a pain all over my body. I looked up and saw the spider catch the fly.

I thought: Stupid fly.

It got noisy really quickly and then it went dead silent.

UD

Urban Dictionary Rules:

—Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.
—Post a definition it gives you.

1. Your name: Brian

A highly intelligent guy who is handsome, funny, sexy, a great kisser, and is hung like a horse. Basically the TOTAL PACKAGE! A guy that every woman wants to be with, but only the hot ones get the privilege of having him.top. but a person who doesn't get mad easily so you dont have to worry about that.

2. Your age? 18

The age where an American can: 1. Legally buy pornography 2. Legally buy cigarettes 3. Legally gamble in Indian Casinos 4. Legally be considered an adult 5. Be tried as an adult in a court of law 6. Be drafted for a war they don’t believe in … but still cannot buy alcohol.

3. One of your friends? Andy

A very tall typically male being.
Often has giant hair and large feet.
May be talented at things such as drumming and shaking bananas.
An Andy may be extremely random and like to create his own language.

4. What should you be doing? Working Out

The act of lifting metal to damage your muscles so they will grow in bigger size so ladies can eat them.

5. Favorite color? Red

A color of passion. Crimson red, blood red, carnation red, cherry red, fire red, rose red.

6. Birthplace? Los Angeles
An amazing city that is resented by people in most other parts of the country for assorted reasons. Supposedly, we’re all liberal, weed-smoking, anorexic gangsters who drive around in SUVs with a Starbucks fat-free latte permanently grasped between our manicured fingers and dream of making it big in Hollywood one day. And the future language is Spanish.

7. Month of your birth? December

An excellent time of year where the snow is beautiful, the weather is cold, and the closer you get to the end of the month the more your birthday sucks.

If your birthday is very close to Christmas, it is okay to hate your birthday.

8. Last person you talked to? Andy

The most beautiful girl in the world. Blue eyes and Brown Hair. Nicer then nice would do anything for you. Has a contagious personality, you can't help but smile when around her. She will make you laugh. But get on her bad side and she will rip you a new one.

9. One of your nicknames? Bri Bri

A very annoying and insulting nickname for anyone named Brian.

Creeping

The longer I sit in a room of people being recognized for their achievements, this feeling of utter incompentance grows.

Without a doubt, I am feeling rather snide and bitter.


- BB

Bottled

I did something today.
I made today different.
'I moved the furniture,' I say.
I pushed that heavy bed to vent.

Streaked across my tile floor
Wet drops of much fervor
Made sliding the desk up to the door
I little less of a chore.

I did something today.
I made it different.
Even though like a child I wanted to flay,
I sucked it up and with a smile I said the opposite of what I meant.