I moved a total of 12 times. Two of those times I moved states. the rest I moved within the Los Angeles County. I never made friends, and when ever I close to becoming more than an acquaintance, I moved. By the time I was 10, I was used to not having friends and I had stopped crying when I was picked on. I was used the strangeness of being in an unknown place. I was used to being out of place.
When my mother decided we were moving to Lincoln Heights, I already knew what to pack first and what to pack last. As for school, I didn't say good-bye to any one. In fact, I didn't tell anyone I was leaving. When someone saw me loading the truck on our moving day, they call out my name. When my mother asked me if that was my friend, I told her I had no idea who that person was. At the time I did know who they were; they were nice. I can't even remember their face now. I'd later wish I had said good bye such nice person.
When I started school halfway through the seconded semester of sixth grade, I didn't expect to be confronted with hostility.
Every time I moved to a new school, I was
out casted. No one talked to me, and I didn't expect anyone to talk to me. Those who tried to pick on me learned quickly that I had a biting tongue, but oddly enough I didn't curse. However I had never been the subject of torment brought on by an entire class; it was those who acted and those who enjoyed the act.
I resented a lot of people but never acted upon those feelings. Regardless of what happened to me, I didn't act back. I didn't complain. I just weathered through it. When out fairly large 6
th grade
Englisher teacher spoke out on my behalf and accused the class of willfully malicious acts against my person, I was surprised. I had never said anything, never pointed fingers, and never said any names. I have to admit I was touched by her acted, but I had wished she had said nothing. The following day I learned that their were more actors acting and less watching the act.
Through out this whole ordeal I was never bitter. Maybe because I was told never to hold grudges. or maybe because I really wanted to be liked by those around me. So laughed and smiled. To this day I still smile when ever something goes wrong.
The following two years of middle school grew to be even more unbearable. Academically, I fell behind as I began to read compulsively. Since I had never needed help, I refused to seek any. I regret that.
So the ill and woes of school mounted on me, I found refuge at the computer lab. At first it was a way for me to read in peace (when I moved to the school I was horrified when I found out that the library was not open during lunch) and later it became a place where I, if only marginally, fit in.
My interest in computers grew over night, to the point where I began writing code on my computer at home. I crashed it and had to format the hard-drive. I never attempted to write code after that. learned quickly the basics of computing was given the task of teaching students who were computer illiterate. I spent all my time there, forgoing lunch and nutrition. Honestly, I never minded.
When the high school students came to inter with us, I found people to look up to. Sara was sweet and kind. She was also very pretty, but plagued by acne. Although after a few days I never really noticed again. It's not that her acne disappeared one day, it was just that she was the kind of person who projected her emotions, I found that fascinating. The other high school student was Henry. He was obnoxious, loud, friendly and everyone liked him, but me. In retrospect, I suppose I liked him so much I disliked him. Which is to say I wanted to be like him.
I met a lot of people in my time art the computer. Most of them were students who grew to resent me for having "privileges". Others were people with whom I interacted. In my last year there I met a girl with a broken leg and her friend who on many an occasion, nearly broke my leg. They were nice people, for the most part.
At some point, I met a lanky, flat-nosed,
Asian boy who I didn't really notice. In the following four years he would grow to be my closest confidant. Through him I met more people who I would grow to cherish… and some I would grow to loath.
I didn't become a social butterfly. I don't think that will ever happen. what he did do is help me become more open and expressive. I became loads and obnoxious. I began speaking my mind. I also began cursing,
courtesy of a small, cute Asian girl with the dirtiest mouth I've ever seen.
Throughout everything that happened, a few things were worth the toil. My days at the computer lab being one. The other was a rather insignificant exchange between that lanky, flat-nosed Asian boy and myself.
