A bad day indeed

It was a bad day.

This morning I called my sperm donor of a father to confirm that I would see him in the afternoon to pick up money for textbooks. I was then told I am a worthless, lazy, waste of space leech that only serves to siphon money from is pocket.He forgot to mention I was also his son.

A nice serving of reality-my-dad-father-is-a-douche with my cereal.

In the early part of the afternoon I was informed that my financial aid would maybe arrive on the 8th, but it was not likely. The woman was older, greying and had tremors. She also was more interested in trying find her pen than explaining to me what was happening to my fin-aid. I left before she found her pen.

During my last class of the day, my professor assigned quite a lot of reading, which I can't do. So I waited after class to ask him if the library had a copy of the textbok I could borrow for an hour ( had done this for my Japanese class, the books have to be authorized for use by the professor.) At which point the very white man turned a shade of very dark red, much like a tomato but not quite, and proceeded to inform me that it was my fault for not buying the book a month ago when he sent out an email. When I told him I had no money or fin-aid to speak of, I was Indirectly informed it was my fault for being poor. He kept referring back to the email he sent as if it would somehow change something about my inability to purchase a textbook. Maybe if Steve Jobs had said it...


I think be fine, regardless of what happens. I'm going out to look for a job on Friday and Saturday. I can borrow the textbooks from classmates. I can buy e-book chapters I need. I started again jogging to relieve my stress.



I'm going to be fine, if I ever wake up from this fucking twisted nightmare.

Greatness

I want to be great.

I want to make them shut up.

I want to drown their voices out with success.

I want to mute the judgmental world with my greatness.

I want to be me with out a care to what might be said of my actions.

But Is Actually Are

Wanting So Achieving Falling

To Much Greatness Backward

Be Different When Into

Great From You Something

Made

Of

Dispair

Doubt

Misery

Anger

Frustration

Rage

Ire

I can only hope hit the surface that I don't go splat,

I can only hope that when I hit the surface I dont shatter into helpless shards,

I can only hope I won't fall beneath the surface and slowly drown,

All I know is that I will not die.

What is it?

It is a shattering window in the morning

It is a nearly burnt-out light bulb

It is a the dim light of of the sun

It is the brightness of the night sky

It is a wall of ear shattering silence

It is a burning forest that screams

It is a rose bud that whispers

It is the mute man singing

It is a leisurely stroll past the piles of forgotten hopes

It is a delicate waltz upon the broken aspirations

It is a simple walk down the halls of glorified memories

It is the nothing like unyielding stance I take.

Into the sky I fall

Dancing and twirling
The voice of strangers flooding the air
Clouds of thought floating
Sweet merriment, it tears.

Truth rains unto the masses
Countless umbrellas open in place
Under the woven ignorance
The layman creeps.

Through the curtains the sun seeps
Out of bed I slowly crawl
A rush of dancing a twirling greets
And into the sky I fall.